Monday, July 05, 2010
To quiet my racing mind, I decided to try different types of meditation. After my brain injury, there are times when my brain is “on fire”. This means that my brain will zip around and become an electric current, zapping me. After an episode, I usually pass out.
For one week, I did the “no-mind” meditation for ten minutes a session. Like a child, I cannot sit still for a long time. Unfortunately for me, this meditation was sheer torture. I began to hate this meditation with a purple passion.
At first, it just hurt to sit still for ten minutes, and not do anything. However, as I practiced the meditation, I was able to sit still longer. But it was simply too difficult to sit and think of nothing. Often I would fall asleep.
I did count to four and watch my breathing. That alone would put me to sleep. Then I counted 1001, 1002, 1003, and 1004, which kept me awake. But the “no-mind” meditation then became one of counting instead.
When I did have an incident of brain fire, I used the “no-mind” meditation. It helped to calm my brain, so I did not pass out. However as meditations go, I will not be doing this one on a regular basis. It is simply too hard for me.